Gone

Well...sorry I've missed Blogmas...I haven't decided if I want to keep up with it.

I'm pretty down in the dumps since yesterday afternoon. Why, you ask? Let me explain.

About 30 minutes after I got to work yesterday, I got a call from my mom. I texted her and told her I can't talk because I was at work and when she replied to tell me its very important, to call her asap, I knew it was about my grandpa. So I went into the bathroom and called her back. She told me that his blood pressure just dropped significantly. They had just decided with the doctor on Monday that they were not going to put him back on the ventilator if he stops breathing, they've decided to just let him go. After his blood pressure dropping, about maybe 10 minutes later, I got another call from my mom to tell me that he was gone. It happened so fast.

I ended up leaving work before 3 o'clock. I just couldn't keep it together. I thought I was more prepared, honestly. I didn't think I would cry as much as I did. I broke down pretty good at work before I left. Ever since he was admitted, the first time I went up to see him, I just had a feeling that things weren't going to get better. I decided to prepare myself for what could happen, worst case, and I thought I had done a pretty good job...apparently I was wrong. I guess it isn't really possible to prepare for something like this.

Today is his 84th birthday. I planned a dinner tonight and invited the whole family. We're going to his favorite pizza/pasta restaurant to celebrate his birthday and his life.

I'm pretty upset that he won't be there whenever I get married. I definitely feel like it wasn't his time, but what do I know? It would have been really nice to just have one of my grandparents at my wedding, and he was the only one left. I just hope that V's grandparents will both still be around when we get married so at least they will be there. We'll see, I guess.

So, Gramps, I hope you have a wonderful birthday up there with Grandma. I love you forever & always.